My story Part 1

Posted 04/23/12 By: Nae Nae

Dash stared blankly at his math homework, then crumbled up the paper and threw it into his wastebasket. Apart from him struggling with math on a regular basis , Dash had been distracted ever since his discovery. Last night while exploring the forest outside his backyard, he sound an extraordinary band of trees that were intertwined together into a circle. He desperately wanted to examine it closer, but it started to rain and soon enough thunder and lighting shook the sky, forcing him to go home.
This was another problem that kept Dash thinking. So many strange events had been happening, freak storms in Colorado where Dash lived, horrible wars raging in Africa, an incurable plague in Russia, spreading into China, and many more disasters. All of this made Dash very concerned, and scared.
Dash isn't your average 13 year old. He'd rather be outside than indoors playing video games any day. Being outside all day was probably what made him so tan, and had his hair bleached out. Dash was also home-schooled. The reason his parents, professors at the local college, decided to teach him themselves was because Dash also had dyslexia, so when he read the words would start falling off the page. With him at home, Dash was able to work easily and explore.
"Dash! Can you come and help me carry these boxes in?" his father called. Since Dash's dad was a science professor he was always bringing wild projects to his workshop at home. Dash quickly rushed over to help his dad carry an especially large box with the 'FRAGILE' written in bold letters. He had always loved helping his dad, it was his favorite part of homeschooling.
After Dash heaved the box he was carrying onto the counter, he asked, "So dad, what crazy monster did you bring home this time?'
"Oh," his father laughed, "just some new beakers and such." Dash rolled his eyes, obviously not believing him. "Come on outside, I've got a surprise for you out in the car." Dash had to jog to keep up with his dad, who really excited to show Dash's surprise.

Ok end of this part of the story. I can't quite figure out what the surprise should be. The rest of the book is about how dash goes on a quest to save his world, and some others. A friend of mine told me it sounds like zelda, which it does. So i'm thinking i need some sort of tool as the surprise, or a weapon. Any ideas?

  1. Nae Nae avatar

    On Mon, May 7, 2012 at 11:49 AM, Nae Nae said:

    ok ok ok so im going to do a rewritten version of this, and then put the next part up in lets say.... 4 days max? I'll get to work on it straight away. ^.^

  2. Connie avatar

    On Thu, Apr 26, 2012 at 3:12 PM, Connie said:

    Amazing!

  3. Kit-Cat avatar

    On Thu, Apr 26, 2012 at 1:45 PM, Kit-Cat said:

    luv the story :D

  4. GoldenEagle200 avatar

    On Wed, Apr 25, 2012 at 4:00 PM, GoldenEagle200 said:

    emm i'm not sure.....depends on how you want the story to go....think it'd be best for you but personally i'd have the dad be all excited and Dash not too excited but appreciative of the gift you know.

  5. Nae Nae avatar

    On Tue, Apr 24, 2012 at 7:05 PM, Nae Nae said:

    I like the idea of a rope or something like that but how would the dad give it to him? should he be all excited to give it to his son and have Dash not be o excited? or just a small gift that helps him in the future?

  6. GoldenEagle200 avatar

    On Mon, Apr 23, 2012 at 3:53 PM, GoldenEagle200 said:

    depending on the bad guy should depend on what weapon/tool he gets.....a sword is legendary but used all the time....how about something like rope? can be used as a weapon and is usefull in many situations.....of course make it magic or something that he figures out later (because his dad saved the world using the same rope :O) good little add on there haha :D.....yeh good little beginning.....hard to know at first what's happening but if you just read it and go along with it then it's good dude :D

  7. W0LF6996 avatar

    On Mon, Apr 23, 2012 at 3:10 PM, W0LF6996 said:

    This is a great story so far. I cant wait for the next part. I would give an idea for the surprise but I don't want to spoil it for myself if you pick my idea.

  8. Mrs. CxGrimmie64 Mellark avatar

    On Mon, Apr 23, 2012 at 1:47 PM, Mrs. CxGrimmie64 Mellark said:

    this doesnt make sense...

  9. teamgrimmie4ev avatar

    On Mon, Apr 23, 2012 at 1:09 PM, teamgrimmie4ev said:

    I love writing this is amazing.................................. i think it should be like a time capsule that his dad found and then when dash gets far enough away from his house he opens it and there is like some sort of weapon (like you said) but i dont know exactly how he saves the world so that depends on the weapon.......... this is just what i think and you are an amazing writer by the way(:

  10. Nae Nae avatar

    On Mon, Apr 23, 2012 at 9:14 AM, Nae Nae said:

    Heya so i apoligise if there are any mistakes of spelling in this and such I didn't proof read it but i hope you guys like it!!!!

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